I’m not an outdoorsy person.

I KNOW. Big shocker. I’m a computer-geek, suburbanite, literature major whose most popular pinterest boards are everyday eats, nail designs, and generally geeky interweb finds. I mean, what do you expect?

But really, the idea of being outdoors where poison oak and ivy lurk right in front of your face, where running water and plumbing are amateur hour nonsense, where flying, biting insects are the natives and you’re a stranger impeding on their territory, and the allergens.. oh the allergens… none of it is appealing to me. I hated every minute of reading Into the Wild. I enjoy the safety and security of walls that cannot be torn with a penknife or, you know, claws. The very thought of hiking through the woods makes me itch uncontrollably and SERIOUSLY I NEED AN OATMEAL BATH FOR THIS PSYCHOSOMATIC NON-RASH THAT’S SPREADING OVER MY ENTIRE BODY.

I bet you’re a little itchy now, too. Heh.

Anyway, it’s not to say I won’t go outside at all. I’m not agoraphobic or anything. I take Cameron and the dog to the beach. I run on the (well worn and fenced) trail in the wetlands. I enjoy a good nature walk every now and then. If I were confident in my climbing skills and in my or a buddy’s ability to anchor and tether and whatnot, I might be open to rock climbing. In the meantime, I’ll stick to a rock gym, thanks.

But Resa, you may ask, you’re a boy’s mom! What happens when Cameron asks to go camping?

Sigh.

If Cameron ever wants to go camping, I’ll slap a smile on my face, shower in eucalyptus oil, and give it the old college try. Until then, I’ll enjoy my air conditioning and sidewalk running, thanks.

/rant

Anyway, this week was awesome. I ran 6Ks on Wednesday, which means I’m ever closer to my 10K and eventually 13.1 mile goals. However, I also got minor shin splints from that particular run, so I’ve had to hold off on running for a few days. BOOOOOO. I mean, seriously, I stretched fully and wore shoes that probably have about 200 miles on them IF that. What gives?! Granted I also run on pavement with small but steady slopes. Maybe I just have to stick with the dirt trail in the wetlands?

Also, I have to tell this awesome little story because I thought it was funny. I stand on the scale first thing one morning and I weigh in at 116.2. WOO! So I step off to grab my phone and take a picture, but the camera didn’t turn with me, so the picture came out sideways. Bleh. So I step off again because the scale’s turned itself off by now, reorient the camera, step back on, and WTF?! The scale says 117. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN!? Which is to say, the scale is a liar sometimes, so don’t let it dictate your health and fitness goals.

This post is sponsored by Dole and hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway

But it’s scary. Breastfeeding is a HUGE calorie burner, and if I hadn’t chosen to nurse Cameron, I’m 65% sure I’d be in a very different place physically. Then again, in the weeks since we’ve eliminated all but bedtime feedings, I’ve been doing just fine. In fact, I’ve been maintaining really well, and despite my nervousness at the outset, all is going better than I could have anticipated.

Now if only I could get Cameron to stop groping…

Anyway, I’m back on track with my running schedule and I was so into getting my run on last night that I forgot about Mamavation TV until I was about a mile into my 5K sunset run (I like running at sunset because I feel like I’m racing to get home before sundown). However, it was my best run in a long time, mostly because I actually made it the full 3 miles without crapping out and walking. My time was a little slow, but hey – I finished, and I’m happy with that for now.

So that’s it. Short update, but an update nonetheless.

I’ll also admit that on this particular morning, I was legitimately hung over for the first time in years (not “ohhhh, my body hates me, a glass of wine gives me a hangover” hung over, but “holy crap, I haven’t drank this much in 3 years – how big were those 4 glasses of wine again?” hung over), and AHHHHH the angels did sing. Fried chicken + Mimosas = THE CURE TO THE COMMON HANGOVER. Also note that Cameron was at his dad’s for the weekend, like he is every weekend, so BAM. No judging.

So the actual brunch was at Mrs. Knott’s Chicken Dinner Restaurant, and it was a fantastic spread – I mean, seriously, there was a meat carving station, omelette station, and an effing ice sculpture swan. THERE WAS AN ICE SCULPTURE SWAN YOU GUYS!!! Do you know when the last time I went anywhere with an ice sculpture? Because I sure don’t.

What are you looking at, SWAN? Probably the ambrosia salad, actually.

Actually, it may have been three years ago. But that’s a long time.

Anyway, food? Fantastic. Bottomless champagne? Even better. I was particularly fond of the boysenberry blintzes and apple stuffing. DELISH.

On top of giving us wayyyyy too much free food (I’m one of those freaks that can shovel food away when I’m hung over because it makes me… not.. hung over? unhungover? normal?), we were also given $25 to spend at the Knott’s Market Place, and I actually didn’t realize how great the shopping is there. I mean, really, it’s not just amusement park themed travel tumblers and keychains – there are great gift shops if you’re looking for something for the mom in your life (or you know.. if that mom is you). I ended up getting myself a new cookbook, but it was hard to decide between it and 50-bajillion other adorable things that I could have gotten instead. I mean, Becky Bean (who I had the pleasure of meeting) got a Chicken Lamp. How freaking adorable is that?!

There is also an old-timey candy shoppe with basically every classic candy you could possibly want. And it makes for really pretty photos.

All things considered, the shopping options took me (pleasantly) by surprise.

So many thanks to Knott’s for the invitation – this is the second event I’ve attended as a VIP guest (I’m slightly amused by being considered a VIP in the midst of the other bloggers who I can’t even bring myself to say hello to because I love their blogs so much that I’m pretty sure I’d sound like a total creeper if I decided to strike up a conversation with them), and they really know how to make an event great, I tell you whut.

Now of course, there’s something in it for you, too:

Call 714-220-5055 for a Mother’s Day Brunch reservation, and mention “Mom Bloggers Discount” for an extra 10% off.
Prices are:
Adults: $29.95 Seniors: $22.95 Children: $16.95
Make your reservations early, because they fill up fast!

Disclosure: I was invited by Knott’s Berry Farm to attend the Knott’s Mother’s Day Champagne Brunch preview, and I received parking, brunch, and a gift certificate to shop at the shops for free. All thoughts, opinions, and experiences are mine, and were not compensated nor required – I’m just writing about them because they were THAT good.

Dads. Should anybody buy into this silly notion that anger is sometimes or often necessary? Do you not understand that anger is almost always an emotion for people who wish to control others while simultaneously failing to control themselves? Do you not know that there are incredible books and courses that can teach you better methods? Most importantly, do you not see the speed at which a child is crushed or becomes completely defiant when anger rules the roost? Are you that desensitized to the luminosity of your child’s spirit that it doesn’t crush you completely when they flinch or cower in your presence? Is that really what you want your child to do? To fear you?

You can read the rest at Single Dad Laughing, and I know it’s lengthy, but I hope you’ll read it all. It’s such an important read for any parent, whether you’re a mom or a dad.

I’ll admit – as far as children and fairy tales are concerned, the analysis should stay pretty shallow. I mean, “Little Red Riding Hood” upon close examination is a coming-of-age-tale wherein Red more often than not dominates and uses the “Wolf.”

“OHHH, Grandmother, what a big tail you have!” Ugh.

Sleeping Beauty is desirable BECAUSE SHE’S SILENT. The Prince or King can impose whatever fantasy of a woman he wants upon her. Same thing with Snow White. The Prince falls in love with her after he finds her IN A COFFIN. What creepers. Disney worked around this by having the princes meet the princesses before they “died,” so it wasn’t as creepy, but still. It’s creepy.

BUT. That’s not how I explain the stories to my kid. I still tell him fairy tales, disturbing though they are, BECAUSE they’re didactic. There are greater lessons to be learned from them. “Little Red Riding Hood” moral, though quite contrived, is to follow directions, don’t stray from the path, and don’t talk to strangers. Actually, a lot of the morals of fairy tales are to follow the darn directions or else bad things will happen.

So I just wanted to put that out there. As adults, what do you think? Are you bothered by fairy tales or do you even tell them to your kids?

That didn’t happen. I totally feel like I’m letting people down, but I’m adding the Zombie Run, Mamavation Virtual 5K, and Father’s Day 10K to compensate, and they’ve all been added to my Running Schedule. This way, I have enough training time OUTSIDE of the semester. I hadn’t planned this very well, to be honest, because I hadn’t considered that my course load would weigh so heavily on potential training time. So there’s that.

I’m also still accepting challenges, so if you want me to wear a tutu, paint my face, dress like I just walked out of a Richard Simmons video, put jingle bells on my shoes, tell me! I just have a simple requirement:

I’m happy to take on fun and silly challenges, but the exchange is that you either make a $5 (or more) donation to my run fund (because as you can see on my schedule, the entry fees add up), you challenge yourself to run a distance race you’ve never run before (so if you’ve never run a 5k, run a 5k, if you’ve run a 5k but never a 10k, run a 10k, etc.), or you do something similarly silly in one of your races.

So there’s that! I hope you’ll join the fun, because I want to have fun with this, too.

Anyway, I wanted to take this week to reflect on where I am now, because this is quite possibly the best I’ve felt about my body in a very long time. I hold a lot of stock in abs and abdominal definition, because it’s always been my trouble area. I’ve always had that teeny little pooch at the bottom, and while I still do, it’s gotten much better since I got serious about post-partum fitness.

So this is where I started (June of last year):

Measurements

Height: 5’3″
Weight: 127 lbs
Waist: 29″
Hips: 39″

And this is where I am:

Measurements

Height: 5’3″
Weight: 118 lbs
Waist: 25 1/2″
Hips: 36″

They haven’t changed much from late July of last year, but it looks different in a really good way. I mean, I’m actually genuinely excited for swimsuit season. Is that weird? It’s kinda weird, because I’ve NEVER EVER FELT THAT WAY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Still, I have my perceived trouble spots, and they’re odd spots like the part of my back where love-handles would be except it’s my lower back and not obliques, the not-quite armpit spot where your arm folds by the chest that everyone calls armpit fat, and that still odd little pooch. What I’d love is to someday feel confident wearing a sleeveless dress. That’s a goal. And I think that goal is going to take some heavy-duty weight lifting to achieve. Well, maybe not heavy-duty, but serious, definitely. How to get rid of the lower back fat, though. Eesh. Any ideas?

Regardless, I feel like I’ve come a really long way from my pre-preg (20 lbs ago!) and early post-partum days, and that’s really given me the confidence to go after the running goals, among many many other things in my life. However, it hasn’t been about how I look. It’s how I feel. I feel good from the inside out, and it makes such a huge difference in my approach to every day living.

I feel so Pollyanna right now.

And it’s not to say I don’t have my down moments, because I totally do (like last week), but they pass, you know? Although I do find that self-updates (like this post) help remind me of where I’ve been, how far I’ve come, and puts everything else in perspective.

This post is sponsored by New Balance Shoes and hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway

I was an emotional DISASTERPIECE. It was bad. I mean, yes, I had fun over the weekend, I was incredibly productive, but I overthought absolutely everything, worried about absolutely nothing, and had just about the worst, most unfocused, imbalanced, and un-centered yoga practice of my life.

Yoga really is a great gauge for state of mind, if I haven’t mentioned that before.

Anyway, there’s probably something to do with hormones in there (as evidenced by my similarly freaked out skin – WHOA MAMAVATION MONDAY THEME FOR THE WEEK TIE-IN WHAT?!), but I’m pretty sure it was mostly missing my munchkin. I knew he was in good hands, surrounded by people who love and adore him, but you worry, you know? It’s the mom thing to do, so I did. Except I projected my worries about Cameron onto everything else.

Have I mentioned it was irrational? Yeah, none of this was rational. I like to think I’m a pragmatist, but this weekend blew that out of the water.

So having Cameron back.. big relief. And I’ve been lucky as we’ve weaned – I’m not in a situation wherein I feel rejected by my son. It’s been gradual and well balanced, and he still loves to snuggle when he takes a bottle. I still feel needed, and the weekend was a reminder was that I need him just as much as he needs me.

On an unrelated note, I’ve been a little uninspired to run. I think it’s this odd guilt about taking that time away from writing/working/studying/reading, but that’s a really BS excuse. I just haven’t felt like it lately.

Then I got these tweets:

I can’t tell you how good these tweets made me feel, you guys. It feels so good to have people cheering me on, and it’s yet another reason that I adore the Mamavation Sistahood. You girls are wonderful and you really don’t know how impeccable your timing was.

That said, I’m NOT 10K ready, so I’m running Run Seal Beach as a 5K, but I’m adding on another 2 races for the year:

I’m debating between a few of the races here and here, namely the Mother’s Day 10K on 5/13 (**UPDATE: there’s also a Mother’s Day race on 5/12, but that’s my sister’s bday**), Beach Dash on 5/19, Father’s Day 10K on 6/16, or the Independence Day 10K on 6/30. The problem with the Independence Day 10K is that I was planning on running Surf City Run on the 4th of July itself before the parade. Mother’s Day feels really soon, and I’m not sure I’d be giving myself enough prep-time for it, so I want to hear from all you runners: what do you think?

However, I’m FOR SURE running Run For Your Lives, aka THE ZOMBIE RUN. It’ll be my first obstacle course and it looks like a TON of fun. It’s expensive, but TOTALLY WORTH IT. However, how the hell do you train for an obstacle run? HALP!

Anyway, a big fat thank you to Megan and Lena for the inspiration and boost when I needed it. Love y’all!

This post is sponsored by Motion Medica and hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway

Mark Bryan-Brown

First, I will be clear and straight-forward with you. I’m a proud, thinking, researching liberal. I’m firmly pro-choice, even though it’s a choice I couldn’t imagine making for myself. I have a child. I had him out of wedlock. I had the CHOICE to have an abortion, but I didn’t because that’s my prerogative. I CHOSE to keep my baby. That’s the beauty of the expression “pro-choice:” inherent in the name is that there is a CHOICE. I’m not even going to discuss the religious/moral frameworks, because that’s an individual matter – if a woman has an abortion for whatever reason, that’s her cross to bear.

Now back to Gbowee’s talk: after reading this article, I thought of the various pieces of legislation which seek to remove contraceptive access and abortion rights.

-Mississippi’s proposed and failed personhood amendment which would criminalize miscarriage because it would deem a fertilized egg a person. The invasiveness of this proposal was just absurd to me, because when an egg is fertilized, it’s not guaranteed to implant itself on the uterine wall, so technically, an inability to become pregnant would also be a criminal act. As such, it would effectively outlaw birth control because it inherently alters the uterine environment. It’s impossible to enforce, though, because some people’s uterine walls just won’t take fertilized eggs every time. Furthermore, compounding the trauma of miscarriage with a criminal trial for a family that was actually trying to have a child is monstrous.

-Pennsylvania’s proposed bill (alongside a handful of other states) to force trans/endovaginal ultrasounds on women who seek abortions. Not a standard ultrasound that you rub gel on a woman’s lower stomach and roll over it with an odd little wand. No, they stick this wand INSIDE a woman’s vagina. They stick. a foreign object. into a woman. I hate to be extreme, but it sounds a lot like rape to me, and before you say, well, they made the choice, that’s like saying, “well, she decided to spread her legs to the stranger holding the gun to her head instead of taking the bullet to the brain.” To add humiliating insult to injury-by-violation, they call it the “Women’s Right to Know Act.” Like a woman making the decision to have an abortion doesn’t know. Most women who seek abortions (60%) are already mothers. They’ve been there. It’s insulting and demeaning on so many levels.

But there are people fighting for our rights.

Unfortunately, they often face a firestorm of pushback.

-Obama’s provision that religious institutions have to provide health coverage that offers free contraception set off conservatives, despite having already been law during the Bush years. While people love framing it as a war on religion, it’s really a fight FOR women. Women who are employed by certain schools and hospitals (yes, many hospitals are run by religious institutions) don’t necessarily subscribe to those faiths, so to have that faith forced upon them by way of denying them a particular type of health coverage impedes HER religious freedoms AND reproductive rights. It’s not about opposing religion, because remember the whole “separation of church and state” thing? Yeah. That. This is that. This is that moment where the state prevents the church from acting against the state.

Hilariously enough, while woman’s access to contraceptives via insurance is under fire, Viagra is covered by insurance. I could talk about the idiocy of this for hours, but in short, this tells me that a man’s ability to impregnate a woman is more important than a woman’s choice not to become pregnant. How terribly backwards have we become?

However, the worst part is that these decisions are being made without us.

-Women aren’t being allowed to testify in or even included in reproductive rights hearings. It’s like legislators who don’t know how to use email writing laws about internet regulation.

Oh.. wait…

(btw, that last link there is a little nsfw – it’s animated, but ya know.)

Anyway, it all got me to thinking and synthesizing other information I’ve read or knew, and you know how dangerous we women are when we think.

1. When a person or a group of people feel as though they are powerless or are losing power, they empower themselves by imposing power on others. Think Hitler and the Third Reich – Germany was weak, so what did they do? Oppress Jews. Slavery isn’t/wasn’t just about man-power. It’s about control.

2. I saw this infographic, and something clicked:

Women are an economic powerhouse. We control most purchases and consumer actions. As members of a capitalist society, we virtually run the show.

3. A large part of the conservative voter base (poor, uneducated, white) is dwindling. As the collective minority population continues to grow, the GOP is losing its powerful base. Granted, there are still many minorities who vote conservative, but the general idea is that (and I’m so sorry I can’t find the article or perhaps it’s a book and that’s why I can’t find it? that was discussed on NPR about this very idea) this election is a last grasp at power for the GOP, because by the next election, the population will have shifted into a minorities-as-majority state. I may be summarizing that all wrong, but I do know this: Latinos constitute the largest swing-vote population in the country. We’re incredibly important.

So here’s the synthesis part, and it’s also the part where I sound something like a conspiracy theorist, but just bear with me:

Republicans are losing power.
When people lose power, they force power on others.
Women’s rights are being systematically removed or at least diminished.

What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a party of dying power asserting what little power it has left onto a group of people that it finds helpless.

But that’s where they’re wrong.

Women are powerful. Women are important. Women are more than vessels, and it’s about damn time we’re treated as such.

Unfortunately, I can foresee my own backlash in writing this. By being angered by these actions, I’m labeled as “emotional” and “irrational,” despite the clear logic of my arguments, and it’s because I’m a woman. I say this because I’d rather beat people to it in the comments, and every now and then, I enjoy saying “I told you so.”

However, at least I can say I’m not the only person who thinks this way.

So be loud. Be vocal. Vote. Assert the right to womanhood, because it’s a sad day when an unimplanted egg has more rights than the woman who may be forced to carry it.

I’ll leave you with something I wrote the other day, and it’s really rare that I share poetry – in fact, it terrifies me. More terrifying is that it was written as a performance piece, for which I haven’t built up the nerve to perform except in the class for which it was written. But thank you in advance for allowing me to share this with you. It means so much to me that you are sharing in something so personal and meaningful to me.

I am free. I AM free
And THAT you cannot take from me,
Try though you may. I have my own strength:
My knowledge is my power, and you couldn’t fathom the lengths
You’d have to take to even challenge what I have.
You can’t know my understanding because you don’t know what it means to under stand.
No sir! Freedom is in me, and it cannot be revoked.
Your ignorant words, your theatrical scripts only serve to provoke
The FURY of the people you need the most,
But still you’ll reduce us to less than a host.
And in a way, you’re right: we are vessels,
But you don’t understand what we carry: POTENTIAL
And hope and knowledge and most importantly, power,
And we know that you want it from the way that you cower
Behind your podiums, pulpits, bullying altars.
But we hold the purses, and stand without faltering.
You think we’re dangerous now? Push harder to see
Just how dangerous a woman really can be.
I am free, sir. I am free.
My body, my soul, they belong to me.
My mind, my words, my voice I always will be,
And THAT you cannot take from me.

Anyway, it also became clear that everything I’ve been doing – the healthy eating, the running and workouts, writing about it and being involved with a community to keep myself on track – has been so worthwhile. So this week’s Mamavation Monday question stood out to me, because my son and being a good example for him were the biggest motivators to actually get my butt back into shape after a good few years of being rather lackadaisical about my health (in which I’d gained 20 lbs, mind you).

What is one health lesson you want to teach your kids?
I hope my son understands that health isn’t about the quick-fixes and fad diets, flushes, get-into-swimsuit-shape-in-6-weeks workouts, and New Year’s resolutions. I want him to understand how important it is to LIVE healthy every day by staying active and eating well. I want him to learn that being healthy isn’t about looks, but is about having a longer, better quality life. While it is important to have goals, it’s equally important to keep working once they’re achieved. And really, I think those lessons are so important to anyone who struggles with weight or health issues, and even for the people who don’t. Health is a constant work in progress that requires constant upkeep.

What health lessons do you think are the most important?

This post is sponsored by Fitness Made Simple and hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway.

Make sure to read parts one and two of my “Single Mom Dating” series, “Dating, Starting with Me.” and “The Rules of Dating”

I’m going to make a confession here, because I live considerably publicly, right?

I’m on OKCupid.

AHHHHHHH, it feels weird admitting that. However, it’s significantly better than being on The Bachelor.

Anyway, OKCupid, which I sometimes lovingly refer to as OKStupid, makes for some really ridiculously hilarious blog fodder on occasion. See, the thing is, some guys just send these obvious blanket messages. After a while, I get really tired of it and this happens:

Then there are the guys who start by asking for measurements.

And the guys who like to point out the obvious.

And there are guys who think they’re God’s gift to women.

And the ones who just can’t take a hint.

But my favorite was the disrespectful guy, who 1. didn’t remember messaging me from a different (deleted) profile; 2. apparently started with the same line for everyone; and 3. apparently has low standards.

At first I thought this was kinda funny because the guy was just so ridiculous and the absurdity of it just seemed unreal to me. Then I realized that this guy had some serious anger issues and female problems, and it’s a lot more awful than I’d initially thought. I mean, it verges on violent, and that’s not at all acceptable. It’s my worst of the worst and fortunately, I’m not sure it could be much worse than that.

And really, it hasn’t all been terrible, but the horror stories sure do add color, don’t they? So I’d love to hear your stories. I’ll be sharing fresh ones (which will hopefully NOT be mine!) on Tumblr and along with them will be little tips on how to NOT be that guy or girl.