Last week was my cousin’s spring break, and my cousin & aunt LOVE Cameron. Absolutely adore him. And Cameron loves them, too, so he got to have a sleepover with them on Wednesday and Thursday night (and I’ll share the stories later this week, because they’re maddeningly adorable and simultaneously frustrating and altogether so sweet that it makes your teeth hurt). I picked him up on Friday and immediately dropped him off at his dad’s house in LA. OH, and it was raining, so I was in the car for WAY too long that day. Think probably 4-5 hours. At least that’s what it felt like. I finally got Cameron back on Sunday afternoon, but by then it was already too late.
I was an emotional DISASTERPIECE. It was bad. I mean, yes, I had fun over the weekend, I was incredibly productive, but I overthought absolutely everything, worried about absolutely nothing, and had just about the worst, most unfocused, imbalanced, and un-centered yoga practice of my life.
Yoga really is a great gauge for state of mind, if I haven’t mentioned that before.
Anyway, there’s probably something to do with hormones in there (as evidenced by my similarly freaked out skin – WHOA MAMAVATION MONDAY THEME FOR THE WEEK TIE-IN WHAT?!), but I’m pretty sure it was mostly missing my munchkin. I knew he was in good hands, surrounded by people who love and adore him, but you worry, you know? It’s the mom thing to do, so I did. Except I projected my worries about Cameron onto everything else.
Have I mentioned it was irrational? Yeah, none of this was rational. I like to think I’m a pragmatist, but this weekend blew that out of the water.
So having Cameron back.. big relief. And I’ve been lucky as we’ve weaned – I’m not in a situation wherein I feel rejected by my son. It’s been gradual and well balanced, and he still loves to snuggle when he takes a bottle. I still feel needed, and the weekend was a reminder was that I need him just as much as he needs me.
On an unrelated note, I’ve been a little uninspired to run. I think it’s this odd guilt about taking that time away from writing/working/studying/reading, but that’s a really BS excuse. I just haven’t felt like it lately.
Then I got these tweets:
I can’t tell you how good these tweets made me feel, you guys. It feels so good to have people cheering me on, and it’s yet another reason that I adore the Mamavation Sistahood. You girls are wonderful and you really don’t know how impeccable your timing was.
That said, I’m NOT 10K ready, so I’m running Run Seal Beach as a 5K, but I’m adding on another 2 races for the year:
I’m debating between a few of the races here and here, namely the Mother’s Day 10K on 5/13 (**UPDATE: there’s also a Mother’s Day race on 5/12, but that’s my sister’s bday**), Beach Dash on 5/19, Father’s Day 10K on 6/16, or the Independence Day 10K on 6/30. The problem with the Independence Day 10K is that I was planning on running Surf City Run on the 4th of July itself before the parade. Mother’s Day feels really soon, and I’m not sure I’d be giving myself enough prep-time for it, so I want to hear from all you runners: what do you think?
However, I’m FOR SURE running Run For Your Lives, aka THE ZOMBIE RUN. It’ll be my first obstacle course and it looks like a TON of fun. It’s expensive, but TOTALLY WORTH IT. However, how the hell do you train for an obstacle run? HALP!
Anyway, a big fat thank you to Megan and Lena for the inspiration and boost when I needed it. Love y’all!