So Im on Facebook and I see that Eric has posted one of those LiveSocial top 5 things. Usually his posts are really funny, but I was rather perturbed by this one. The post itself?
Eric Shannon: Direct response to Jon the hater Brown…. heres the 5 dopest Flo Rida songs. (I only know two of his songs, but theyre so darn powerful, that he only needs two songs)
Resa:
….reeeeeeally? really?
JB:
You are absolutely right….
Facebook DOES need a dislike button
Resa:
Seriously. I mean, how could you leave out In the Ayer? WAY more powerful than Right Round…
Ok, so seriously, I hate Right Round so much – I cant even bring myself to joke about it being better than anything.
Eric:
Resa, you joined Jon Browns Hate Nation? Im shocked and appalled. Im pulling Right Round up on iTunes right now to combat your dark spell.
And I forgot about In the Ayer.. Ive got that on iTunes also. Not a huge fan of the song, but one aspect of Flo Ridas genius is his creative spelling. Ayer? Yes, absolutely. So profound.
got this stuck in my head since I wrote it a minute ago… sing along:
You spin my head right round Jon Brown
When you go down when you go Brown tonight
… Read more
From the top of the pole I watch Jon go down
Jon Brown got me throwin my money around
Ain’t nothin more beautiful than Jon Brown
Browns goin down down.
JB:
Once again, I dont know about riding any poles, but if you want to throw some money my way Ill take it.
Eric:
Them baggy sweat pants
And the Reeboks with the straps [With the straps]
I turned around and gave Jon Browns big booty a smack [Ayy]
He hit the flo [He hit the flo]
Next thing you know… Read more
Jon Brown got low low low low low low low low
JB:
Ok, now I feel uncomfortable.
Resa:
…
That would be hilarious if it wasnt that song.
Its not even catchy. Its just loud and annoying.
… Read more
And whats the deal with rappers and hookers? I mean, seriously. If theyre such hot shit, why do they have to pay for sex? Come on. Ever seen the pick up artists at the Saddle Ranch? Not famous, not super hot (or conventionally attractive), but they can get almost any woman they want. And someone whos self-proclaimed loaded and hung cant get laid without paying for it?
I should probably stop here and continue in a blog post.
Anyway, Right Round sucks.
But a big YES (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyqUj3PGHv4) on Low.
Eric:
oh good lord, trannies? hahaha youre a fan of trannies?
About hookers though, Flo Rida is into STRIPPERS. Not hookers! I think its cause hes such a good soul just wants to shine his white light upon them…. raise their spirits all. Hes doing good deeds by bedding these strippers.
About the Saddle Ranch, you mean the one on Sunset, … Read moreright? I never noticed any pickup dudes in there, but would normally see a posse of Real World or Road Rules rejects. One of them used to be the mechanical bull operator. Trishelle (the super slutty one from the Las Vegas season) was in there more than once. Flo Rida could get her, for sure.
Resa:
You wouldnt notice them because they werent picking up on you. :D
They become hookers when he pays them for sex.
Hey shawty what i gotta do to get you home?
…… Read more
One stack, come on/Two stacks, come on/Three stack come on, now thats three grand/What do you think Im playin?
…
Whoa shawty/yeah she was worth the money/Lil mama took my cash/And I aint want it back
…
Tattoo above that crack/I had to handle that
A. Hes begging to take her back to his place.
B. He resorts to a cash incentive to tap that.
Hookers.
And the Yes Dance is teh roxorz.
And Im going to shut up now.
JB:
Game. Set. Match. Winner… Resa!!!!!!
Eric:
Humph. Ok you got me. I need to study Flo Rida lyrics harder.
In his defense though… you cant blame him for having to handle dat. Hes a man of means, we cant hate on him for that.
In any case… Id still love to see a pic of Jon Brown in apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur.
—
But really, what is it with rappers and prostitutes? Im genuinely curious about this trend that seems to have dragged rap down from an art form expressive of the difficulties inherent of life in the hood to a misogynistic shouting match among egotistical thugs who have more money than they know what to do with. I think thats most likely where it starts.
As the late Biggie Smalls used to say, mo money mo problems. Similarly, Ira Gershwin expressed that “them folks with plenty o plenty, they got the locks on they door. Theys fraid somebodys goin to rob em while they goes out makin more. Long story short, money complicates things. Though necessary, money like most things is best in moderation. So young boy from the hood who grew up with next to nothing gets thrown into this world of glamour and notoriety and also falls into a fair fortune. He has NO idea what to do with all this money after the major personal investments have been made (houses, bentleys, indoor basketball court and fridge full of red bull), so he blows some of it because what the hell. It’s there, more keeps coming in, why not spend it? This is what some call nouveau riche.
So there’s all this money and there are all these girls playing hard to get. Why not put the 2 together? Pay these super hot, seemingly unwilling yet considerably easy women with gifts, top shelf booze and cash. Yes.
Now I’ve realized that there are a few solid reasons for this… scratch reasons, make that explanations.
The first is that it gives him, the investor, control of the situation. She really doesn’t have much reason to say no. Especially considering the risk of getting donkey punched and having to do what he wants anyway.
The second and seemingly most compelling reason is that it’s no strings attached sex with someone that’s not totally beat. Hit it & quit it? Heck yeah. Sure, he has to pay for it, but can you really put a price tag on the freedom to hook up with whoever you want whenever you want without someone else getting upset? Not by any means. Except for the whole paying for that freedom thing…
And the third reason, which I think is my favorite but the least substantial, is that these guys just have no game. I can’t really explain it, and I would love for someone else to try to convince me otherwise, but I maintain that if you have to pay for sex, you should really reassess your tactics. I mean, you can’t just pull a Jamie Foxx and just convince them to let them roll with it and chalk it up to being drunk?
Please.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go justify my own drunken misconduct to the tune of Lady Gaga.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
The thought of this was still bothering me last night, it’s just not right to let you get away with saying that Flo Rida is into hookers.
TECHNICALLY, you’re correct. If he offers cash to a stripper for the express purpose of boning her, then yeah…. that’s an act of prostitution.
But he’s not singing about STREETWALKERS. Cause that would be gross.
The whole “stripper glorification” thing with these rap guys is kinda weird…. personally I always feel embarrassed for strippers & hate looking them in the eye. So the idea of writing love songs about strippers is retarded (but comical at the same time).
But it’s not even close to as gross as streetwalkers. Flo Rida does not like streetwalkers.